escaping a toxic relionship

[mysteryeyesxx]

Freedom when your trap is good but very scary)

Life is precious)

It was 2007 by then i was headstrong i would pray to god and my spirit family to help me out of this reionship i fel out of love with him and i wanted him to sufferhard like i did!

I would rock in the bath before this yr crying my heart out i was young and i was afraid if i did anything he would kill me ike he said a shallow grave yes that wasnt pretty)

Sometimes r wished i could die and there was times he said i would - we didnt just have a nasty relionship we had good times _he had amazing singing voice and davidgrey he sang to me alot sail away that song / he was a good father to all together he had 7 children yes i was a stepmum i love them to bits - he had issues big issues that he needed help with " i couldnt help in) one time we was having glass of tower hill wine btw and i said i dont love you like i did ' he didnt hit me he cried and ask me not to go so i stayed out of pitty /wrong yes but he was broken man) only the violent got so bad he stabbed himself hard in stomache - because i wouldnt allow him to have my body - sad isnt it but relity works strange ways -

June 2007 we had the most amazing 6 months - perfect until my nans birthday thst is and yes i did go he was fuming and slapped me while i was holding my youngest he had oldest in his arms) my girls that was it i left got my own place and i made it are home) he hated to see me happy/ sadly i went back one last time

And my cousin boyfriend took my place that night he threw him down the stairs stamped on his head and other damage i pleaded please stop your kill him but he didnt he kicked my cousin man so hard that i heard his skull crack

That night wasnt pretty i was moved away and i had to be a strong witness my fr

Friend survived after being in cma he brain damaged tho thriugh it -

My ex got 5 yrs ppo means he could do many yrs he dne six

But he been good boy so he got parole up in april)

Its flaming hard and i have to move again its horrible but im strong and i know one day a man will share this pain with me / but right now its me and my girls /

I dont regret anything because i grew and i stil am growing / xxx

[celticvixen]

You are strong, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know its can be hard, I've been there. I was in a relationship 3 years ago which was one sided love or feelingwise. Full of abuse, controlling atmosphere, doormat felt walked over you name it it was there. But you gotta forgive what's past its gone, ain't nothing gonna change it, nor is history gonna repeat itself unless you let it. You can make the best out of what you have by creating your own future and moulding your own reality. I managed to get out of the toxic relationships I was in, took me a while but bailed myself out. Healing prayers going out to you as I do understand what its like to feel unworthy of yourself and all the rest. Trust me I've been there, you aren't alone. At least you've gotten a coping strategy in spirituality where you can find answers that sit right too, you are learning, try thinking positive too every so once in a while and trusting in those around you in spirit will help you through it.