introducig myself

[hulalula]

was raised in a v Christian household. Had some experiences that at the time I felt proved Christianity was the correct religion but in the back of my mind I always felt that deep down noone can know if theyre on the right path or not. Then a few things happened that ive struggled to get my head around n over the last 3 years ive slowly lost faith and have left tge church and not class myself as a Christian at all anymore. The teachings are all heavily built into me so I end up feeling a lot of guilt. At times I also feel like ive lost a huge part of me as my faith was v dear to me.

The biggie issues I've had are-Death. Not the expected death - old age I mean, but when someone is gone too soon. A womb baby, a child, a friend, a partner... I understand that everyone has their allowed time but it's a rather bitter pill to take.... Any ideas?

Also, ive been reading the ssecret by Rhonda Byrne and basically it's the law od attraction. It ssays that every part of life we have brought to ourselves through our thoughts. This troubles me since my closest friend would never have wished that he husband wouldve died in am accident - especially when they'd just had a baby...

Or where several people were praying (this was a church experience) and fully believing that a man would be healed of his cancer, then after seeing improvement, and still believing and praying, he dies a week later??

Or wishing you could have more babies but not being able to anymore?

These are big troubles for me and I believe it could help me if I can maybe understand abit more.

I was attuned to reiki 1 but worry so much that all this new stuff IM finding out is all in my head. Like are chakras even real. My hands would tingle because I was thinkin of them. These are just the. Starter doubts....

Thus is a list of things I wrote abit ago about my thoughts on where IM at....

There must be a creator. I struggle to think that it all just 'happened.' the flowers, pregnancy - has to be deigned.

We need to take care of all things.

The mind is powerful. It can imagine and manifest most things. What does the universe dictate can and cannot be manifested??

Life is what we make it.

Love is the highest form

Nothing is certain. Change is constant.

Wanting and not being able to have is what makes us feel crappy.

We make our choices and decide where to go.

Life can be shit. Bad stuff happens. It's life. Shouldnt judge.

Time for everything.

We are meant to support each other. Red tent. Motherhood!

Times related to movements of the world is there power in the moon? Does the movement of moon and planets change stuff?

Earth provides us with what we need. Minerals/foods/medicine. Crystals are intriguing...

We give off energy.

We may have good choices, others don't. They have free will too.

All actions have consequences.

What are consequences to those who do bad? We dont often see them...

What happens after death?

Is there a creator in charge? Does it do anythimg now? Does it have any involvement with us or feelings?

I guess I just wanna read, learn and understand. I also find comfort in knowing what I am. Do being called a 'Christian' was really helpful... Now I have no idea what I am - Buddhist? Pagan? New age hippie? It bugs me.

So yeah thus is me. Hope ive not bored u.

The positive experiences ive had... I have a deck of angel cards and have given readings on odd occasions and IM told they were spot on. If I ever pull a card for me, it usually seems to fit with what I need. I have a small selection of crystals and find that when u I use them, I always feel the benefit of them. :-D I vary rarely go to the charity shop here as its a bit out of the way, but one day I popped down to take some clothes in. I knew I had to go that day, I just knew! Sure enough on the said for sale was a lovely set of runes. This was just two days after someone had said to me that the runes wwould find me if I was meant to have them! This felt amazing. I've done a few successful readings eith the runes but I get scared about doing it wrong, or I hear 'Christian' thoughts telling me that IM going to hell because IM messing with things that the church would say was dark/occult.

I am v empathic which has its good and sometimes painful moments as u can imagine. My instincts are usually correct and I often jusy know things.

I once felt called to tell a man who I didnt know at all, not to stop playing the guitar. I was a teen. This was long ago... I tapped him n the shoulder n said, IM really sorry but I feel as if I have to tell u that u should stop playing the guitar. What was surprising was that he had just prayed asking if he should stop and leave his Christian band!!!

Its a scary but exciting journey.

Thanks for reading.

[celticvixen]

Okay after reading through your post, there are a couple of things you can do if you know how. Protection is important as it helps to stop the incoming onslaught of emotion as well as energy, most recommended for when working with empathy at first although you don't have to if it doesn't sit right, you can just ask for the emotion to be taken away and your helpers on the otherside will step into help you with that.

Firstly above all else you must know you are in control, that nobody and nothing can harm you. Secondly I recommend that you set up your protections, so that this reinforces this that nothing can hurt you when you’re open either. Perceive it this way; when you’re open, your energy is seen like a light and draws other energies in. You are definitely developing and in my opinion is that it doesn’t matter our backgrounds or where we’re from what matters is that we’re started on this journey of spirituality we’re focusing in the now, that we’ve answered our spiritual calling, which you have by picking up a deck of angel cards or just by realising you’re an empath. If you don’t ask or don’t know then ask because someone else can probably mention it or let you know the answer. Never be afraid to ask if you’re unsure or shy of asking! Secondly, There is a unwritten guideline which you can ask or say out loud or think it by thought but you must know you’re in control too. That nobody can overrule you because its your boundaries and all outer energies or inner energies must respect that. If a negative voice is affecting you or mindset or niggling thought, you can counteract it by questioning it first to see if its of the dark, and if it is then ask it ‘please step back I only want to work for the higher of energies that are working for my own greater good, thank you’ if that doesn’t work then make it a demand ‘step back as I only work for the higher of love and light energies that are working for the earth and my own greater good’, thank you. if it doesn’t step back call in your gatekeeper guide ‘gatekeeper please step forward and block all that is negative that is coming in, block it out so that I may not personally feel or see or hear anything negative. You can also ask your guides to protect you during this time too, just to be on the safer side, thank you’. It truly is a scary journey but that fear goes once you gradually get used to the journey and its flow.

I hope this helps you and truly welcome to the site.

[hulalula]

Hey! Thanku for replying. Was beginning to think the forum was abit quiet!! Thanku for what you have ttaken the time to share with me. I know about grounding - feet to the ground, head to the skies, what else can I do to protect myself? Also, how do I know who my guide is/are?

[celticvixen]

The friendship with your guides are formed over time, so even when you first set out on your journey, it doesn't matter if you don't know who your guides are. But they are there and are around you. There is an exercise that you can do which is to ask them to step forward or show themselves to you in dream or meditation if you do guided meditations which I can post a few to help you meet your guides with, if you just follow and imagine/visualize the instructions as within the meditation as given that too will help. The other way of connection is doing it without meditation and just by asking your guides to step forward by thought, trusting all the time that they hear you. is it your main guide the one you want to connect with? If you ask him or her to step forward and then also if you want them to step back then ask them to step back. Also it is best if you ask them for a sign of confirmation so as to let you know they are around. And that can be their symbol every time. For example, one of my protection guides I've named him Silent Warrior but names aren't as important in the spiritual world except for giving information as evidential messages from your loved ones, names are in my opinion like a label to categorise the energy so that we humans can identify with the energies of higher powers. But always ask for the sign from them so that you know they are with you.

As far as protection goes there are many ways in which to protect. Its a way of inventing what sits right with you. So if you feel like you want to use a gemstone such as labradorite to protect with you can. There are shields or also known as core shields, distraction shields, wards of energy which is another form of protection. Spirits circle of protection bubbles of light, white light protection, where you just visualize a beam of white light around you or a bubble of dazzling white light around you. You can also ask your protection gatekeeper not to let any negative thoughts or energies or energies that aren't working for your higher purpose - to keep them out and to only let the good focused energies that are working for your higher purpose in. You can also call on Archangel Michael, work with crystals or stones, such as amethyst, symbols would work as well for protection, dream catchers are good protection while sleeping, faden quartz is also a good protection crystal while astral travelling. Likewise its a matter of going with what suits you and your energies for this time.

[hulalula]

Thanku again. Any meditations would be lovely. I meditate well when guided. Suck on ny own lol

[celticvixen]

lol I know that feeling all too well. Its okay. I will post my Stonehenge Meet your guide tomorrow. It even has a flying carpet ride in it which you can use to further your visualization/meditation.

[hulalula]

Thanks hun.