Post by karebear on Jan 22, 2013 11:36:52 GMT
I am just an ordinary person like everyone else yet I have experienced quiet a bit in my life. Loss is the greatest one. In a 5 year period I lost my son four hours after birth, his father, as well as my daughter's father. After the loss of my son's father I fell apart completely. I thought I had nothing left except my daughter which is the reason I am still here today also. I could not bare the pain it hurt so bad deep inside that I would pray to die each night, only to feel guilty wishing this because I love my daughter with all my heart, and would not want to see her parentless. Other than loving, and taking care of my daughter, I shut down completely... all of my emotions, and had no faith, hope, or reason for the future what so ever. I lived in the past, stared at walls, had no interest in anything anymore. All I thought was "I live and breathe for my daughter, she is all I have left. One day after 3 years of this I had sort of a guide to me( A friend on fb pm me, and asked me if I was worthy of myself and to live a life without them. My first reaction was defensive, I told him off and blocked him. I sat miserable for a couple days, and decided to pm him back and apologize for what I had said, and my response was "NO, I did NOT feel worthy" From there we began to work together, I had many questions, a lot I had to keep re-reading because it was very foreign to me. It wasn't long before I realized that I lived in the past, dreaded the future, and was miserable in the "NOW" I began to meditate A LOT! I also realized that I can see these people in the now because energy never dies. I still practice and believe in staying in the "Now" that's all there ever is. I began to heal. I also realized that thinking is all an illusion, what you think will be. Thinking is only good for critical thoughts. I choose to feel now. I also never knew I was an Empath. I just always assumed I was weird (A judgement right there on myself) I use to absorb everyone's thoughts and own them 
which also was dragging me further down. I knew how to help other except myself. I now differenciate my own feelings versus others. I am only human and have some off days, but also realized not to fight that anymore either, I just do my best in making the best of a situation. I still keep my loved ones in my heart, always will, but am moving on now. I was asked recently again " Are you worthy?" This time my answer was YES <3 We all have different paths for our evolvement of our souls. Our perceptions, and beliefs may vary, and be slightly different, BUT we are all one energy, and we are all one light, also most important to me ONE LOVE <3 xxxx Karen Crescent Calabrese xxxx
which also was dragging me further down. I knew how to help other except myself. I now differenciate my own feelings versus others. I am only human and have some off days, but also realized not to fight that anymore either, I just do my best in making the best of a situation. I still keep my loved ones in my heart, always will, but am moving on now. I was asked recently again " Are you worthy?" This time my answer was YES <3 We all have different paths for our evolvement of our souls. Our perceptions, and beliefs may vary, and be slightly different, BUT we are all one energy, and we are all one light, also most important to me ONE LOVE <3 xxxx Karen Crescent Calabrese xxxx